shhh

i observed the 2 minutes silence today.  ok it didn't make much difference in terms of actual silence - because i spend every day mostly silent if i'm not talking to the cat...

but in this town we have a gun (or summat that makes a loud bang) go off at 11 and then another 2 mins later so you know when to observe it. so i was thinking about the kids in school observing the silence, and whether their teachers had explained to them about why they were observing it, and then i started thinking about the war poetry a lot of my friends have posted on fb today.  i like reading WW1 poetry - although some of it makes me cry.

my favorite poem is by a woman called vera brittain.  ok i know there's loads of male WW1 poets to appreciate and all but i'm not a man, and this particular poem sends shivers up me because it's so poignantly written from a woman's perspective. 

a pic of vera

 

vera brittain also wrote an autobiography called "a testament of youth" which i would highly recommend.  my mum made me read it when i was about 12 and i loved it and reread it several times.  it was televised a few years ago - there's clips on youtube - here's a link to one clip.  it's v bbc in the 80's but i remember it being quite good.  the book is better....

i think the reason i like this poem is because the first line is brilliant, it's written with obvious love and pride, and it's like a prayer for safekeeping - i've got a copy of it in an a level english literature text book where the 17 year old me has written next to it "almost a good luck charm - back to poetry's earlier function = magic".  it's called "To My Brother".  

her brother died in action four days after the poem was written, which i think makes the poem all the sadder and more poignant.

a pic of edward brittain

i don't agree with war, i'm a pacifist, but i'm not naive and i don't think we'll ever live in a world without war.  people are generally stupid enough to want to fight with each other and prob always will be.  and i also think if we didn't have an army we'd all be living under some dictator somewhere because there's always gonna be someone who wants to take overrrr the wooorrrlld...

so i think that although the armed forces chose the job they do - how can we not appreciate them for getting off their arses and doing it.  they obvs believe in what they do otherwise they wouldn't be getting blown to bits in afghanistan or wherever - whatever the politics.

and this poem sums up the hopes and fears of women throughout centuries of war - that their son, brother, lover, father, husband or friend will make it home safely and in one piece:

TO MY BROTHER

Your battle-wounds are scars upon my heart,

Recieved when in that grand and tragic "show"

You played your part

Two years ago

And silver in the summer morning sun

I see the symbol of your courage glow - 

That Cross you won

Two years ago.

Though now again you watch the shrapnel fly,

And hear the guns that daily louder grow,

As in July

Two years ago,

May you endure to lead the Last Advance

And with your men pursue the flying foe

As once in France

Two years ago.

seeeee i can do deep and sensitive :)

roots

summat jaye said last night about me coming from daaahn saaarth and now living oop t'north, which incidentally is via the midlands for a good proportion of my life, as being strange - had me thinking about roots.

i don't feel like i've got any - in the sense of coming from somewhere.  my family are a combination of english, maltese and german for a start so i'm in no way totally english and i'm told i don't look english.  well i was brought up in england, i speak the language and make roast dinners on a sunday and queue for things and i'm definitely reserved with people so i guess that makes me pretty english.  but especially in the town where i live now i know i stick out a bit and sometimes i can tell people are trying to work out where i come from.  having an accent that takes in kent and coventry and is in no way consistent doesn't help either.  i was once told i look mixed race - i think that's cos i've got curly hair and dark brown eyes though.  my skin is pretty pale and burns in the sun like english people's skin - sort of that rare roast beef colour and then peels off to go back to no tan whatsoever 2 days later. unlucky...

i read this book

 a little while ago.  it was pretty good actually but it made me feel a bit hollow at the same time.  it's all about not fitting in anywhere - based on a woman brought up in the 70's in england by jamaican parents, who goes to jamaica to try and find her roots and learn about her family tree.  i identified a bit with the main character.  although i've never been to malta to test this theory *thinks about going to malta*

in my dreeeaaams...

actually i did go to germany with the school when i was 15 and i have to say that i probably felt more at home there because of the food.  i bloody heart german food.  i remember other girls leaving theirs and me having more than one dinner... hehe

but i don't fit in daaahn saaarth with the rest of my family cos i wasn't brought up there.  i never fit in where i was brought up - because of my accent and cos i wasn't from there.  and i definitely don't fit in round here.  but i dooo like it round here.  i like the countryside and the communityness of the town, and i can't really see me moving anywhere else for the time being.  maybe you can put down your own roots innit.

i'd like mine to look like this

please.

with this as a soundtrack

spooky shit man

well that's halloween done.  i forgot to get a pumpkin and wouldn't let the kids trick or treat cos it's basically doorstep begging bordering on harassment (IMO) plus i'm not fucking traipsing round the streets in the dark in october for anyone. not even my children what i do love...

but i painted their faces scary and we went to my sisters and they did apple bobbing (thus rendering the face paints on the bottom half of their faces pointless) and they made chocolate apples on sticks.  so they were happy.

i'm in 2 minds about halloween.  on the one hand i think it's just a bit of fun - and i remember some fucking ACE costumes from halloween night at the campbell when i was an underage drinker.  heavy metal people make the best halloween costumes.

but recently it seems to bring out all the people (according to every single news bulletin yesterday) who are "real" witches, who are all claiming to be "real" and "witches" only it's now called wiccan and they dance round stone circles wearing cloaks and chanting and all that.  which (hehe) i'm really sorry but it all just seems a bit too much like born again christians to me.  i don't understand how people "get" a religion - being areligious...  i can understand if you're brought up in a religious environment, but not going through most of your life one thing and then going oh i'm this now.  i like the wiccan religion more than other religions - it's got a good basis for living in it - and i'm all for remembering people once they're gone and celebrating the change of the season (i tend to do this with food rather than chanting myself).  but i dunno it all just seems a bit forced to me.  cos it's cool and different.  maybe i'm just a cynic eh.  hehe.  

i have been called a witch on occasion however.  i like to think of myself more of this kind of witch

actually - scrap that - this kind of witch

hoorayyyy :)

than this kind of witch

faaackin loving the new pic inserting function btw. nice one blogger :)

so really as far as i can see - halloween is good for one thing and one thing only.  it's an excuse to watch this. which i didn't actually watch this year but that's another story...